


Blue Jeans

by angstbot



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Swen, swan queen - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 22:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11815629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstbot/pseuds/angstbot
Summary: This isn’t what Regina was expecting when she was sent off to find her happy ending. Dark Swan and Evil Queen.





	Blue Jeans

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey, Evil Queen and Dark Swan.
> 
> For @spacedementia5 for being one of the winners of Outburst Commentathon.
> 
>  

_Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn_

When Henry used his Author power to write her into a place where she could be happy, the queen was startled to find herself outside Granny’s. She’d just been inside, hadn’t she? Maybe something had gone wrong. She went back in.

It took less than three seconds to realize things were not as she’d just left them. Henry, Zelena, and her other half were nowhere to be seen, and the diner that had been empty except for them moments before was now crowded with patrons who fell silent and turned to stare. Including Emma Swan, who was wrapped in shiny black leather and smirking.

“What’s with the outfit?” Emma asked, voice low and menacing and strangely erotic.  

“I could ask you the same thing, dear,” Regina purred right back, sweeping her eyes over her. She hadn’t dressed like this since her unfortunate Dark Swan phase, which was a shame because it was a _very_ good look on her.

“You haven’t looked at me like _that_ in a while,” Emma said, moving closer, almost into her personal space. “Did you finally decide to get rid of the lizard?”

“Lizard?” Regina repeated just as the bell of the front door tinkled again and everyone gasped.

Turning to see what it was, Regina saw another of herself, holding hands with Maleficent.

“Where the hell am I?” she muttered.

**

 “Okay, let me get this straight,” Regina said, pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off a headache. “When Emma became Dark One in this world, she didn’t go to the Enchanted Forest, she stayed here.”

Emma had poofed off in a huff at the appearance of the other two, who had promptly and efficiently taken charge of Regina as the visitor in their town and brought her to the mayor’s office to talk.

“Yes,” her counterpart—the mayor, she thought idly—confirmed.

“And what, terrorized Storybrooke?”

“No,” Regina insisted. “She’s not bad, really.”

Maleficent snorted as if she disagreed.

“She’s not, Mal. She’s selfish, and impulsive, and positively oozes sex, but she’s not _evil_.” Turning back to Regina, the mayor explained, “She doesn’t hurt people except to defend those she loves, that kind of thing.”

“Yes, I’m sure she always happens to get up to some kind of mischief when we’re alone to _defend those she loves_ ,” Maleficent said drily.

“Mal,” the mayor protested, and she was so soft and sweet, this version of herself, that Regina almost didn’t recognize her.

“My love, I know you’re fond of her, and I know she’s immortal, but she’s still susceptible to dragonfire, and if she ruins another orgasm I’m going to have to let her spend eternity as a charcoal briquette.”

Regina stifled laughter.

“She’s rather fixated on me,” the mayor explained, a bit sheepish.

“Oh?” Regina prompted. Now _that_ was interesting.

“She ended our relationship shortly after the curse broke because she couldn’t cope with her parents disapproving of us,” the mayor explained, and Regina struggled to keep the shock of it off her face. In this reality she and Emma had _dated_?

“After she became the Dark One,” the mayor continued, thankfully oblivious, “and her inhibitions were gone, she was interested in coming back. But I had moved on and we,” she glanced at Maleficent, “were happy. And now she can’t stop herself from trying to keep us apart, even though it makes her just as miserable as us. It’s really a mess.”

**

_It was like James Dean, for sure  
You so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer_

“Hey.”

Regina started and her “Hey” was a bit high-pitched. It had been several days, but she hadn’t gotten used to how Dark Swan just appeared out of nowhere. _Her_ Emma certainly hadn’t ever done that. Wait, _her_ Emma?

“What’cha doin’?” Emma asked, putting her hands in her back pockets as if she were wearing blue jeans and not black leather.

“To be frank, I’m bored out of my mind,” Regina answered. She knew it was good for Henry that this Storybrooke was so extremely peaceful compared to her own, but it definitely left something to be desired in terms of entertainment. _This_ was supposed to be her happy ending?

“Well if you want to come, I was going to go do some mischief,” Emma said, looking down and kicking at the dirt.

“Oh?” Regina prompted. She was somewhat good now, after sharing her heart with her other half, but she still had that lurking impulse to cause trouble.

“Yeah,” Emma said eagerly. “I think I can put a magical forcefield around Regina that will repel Mal.”

“You gonna tie her shoelaces together, too?”

“Huh?”

“Emma Swan, you are the saddest villain in all the realms. You have functionally infinite power and you’re wasting your time pulling frat boy pranks on somebody just for dating your ex-girlfriend? What are you doing with your life?”

“What, like you have a better idea?” Emma demanded, defensive.

“For trouble to get into? You bet I do. Cruella’s car is still here, right?”

**

 _You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop_  
_But you fit me better than my favorite sweater, and I know_  
 _That love is mean, and love hurts_

They’d spent the evening roaring around town in the outlandish vehicle, swerving and taking corners too fast and generally scaring the hell out of pedestrians and other drivers. Regina had discreetly magicked it so that it wouldn’t actually hit anyone, but Emma didn’t need to know that. The terror was the point, after all.

Now they were sitting on the hood at the one good lookout spot in all of Storybrooke, passing a couple of bottles back and forth.

“You’re so much more fun than Regina,” Emma murmured, and then her eyes crossed in confusion. “You know what I mean.”

“Yes,” she acknowledged. “Though it’s not hard. She’s so domesticated and- _soft_.”

“She’s _so_ soft,” Emma agreed, “and warm, and she gets so wet- and _wow_ , I should stop drinking.”

Regina laughed and laughed. “But listening you rhapsodize about my body is an interesting experience,” she said finally.

“Your Emma didn’t?”

“I didn’t have an Emma.”

“I’m dead?!”

“No, I mean that my Emma- or- the Emma from my Storybrooke- wasn’t _mine_. Though,” she said with a speculative look, “you make me wonder if she could have been.” She stared at the bottle in her hand accusingly, because she hadn’t meant to say that at all.

She looked up just in time for Emma to kiss her, hard and hungry and she was grabbing her and pulling her closer before she even made a conscious choice. This Emma was different than the woman she’d known, but _she_ was different than she’d been before she’d been split. They were raw, both of them, unfiltered and impolite and indecorous, answering first and foremost to their own wants and needs. And right now, their wants and needs were remarkably compatible. 

The breaking of glass drew them apart, and Regina shook herself. “What are we doing?”

“Ugh, not you, too,” Emma whined. “Can’t I catch a break?”

Regina snorted. “We’re going to fuck, dear, but not on the hood of a car. I’m a queen and a bit more refined.”

“Oh, uh, your place or mine?”

“I’m not fucking in my vault, either. That’s disgusting. Take me to your house, Ms. Swan.”

**

_Love you more  
Than those bitches before_

They were kissing intently again the moment their feet touched the floor of Emma’s bedroom, fingertips digging in to hips and mussing upswept hair. Emma pushed her up against the wall just shy of a slam and had a thigh between hers in no time, but it wasn’t enough, and neither was dragging her nails down leather rather than skin. She undressed them both with a flick of her wrist.

“That’s better,” she murmured, then flipped them around while Emma was distracted and sank her teeth into her neck.

They were rocking against each other in no time, kissing again, and Regina had one hand in Emma’s now-free hair and one palming a breast while Emma was grabbing her ass hard, and it was abandon and raw desire and exactly what Regina wanted.

But soon she wanted more, and was sliding her hand down between them to cup and squeeze where Emma was getting quite wet now, and Emma followed suit immediately. They moaned into each other’s mouths.

Before long, her fingers were sliding through Emma’s wetness, and she needed to be inside her, and she felt Emma try to cock her wrist enough to do the same and fail. She broke the kiss.

“Bed,” she commanded, stepping back toward it and pulling Emma to go with her.

Emma poofed them there in the next moment, settling herself on top.

“It’s so nice that you can do that,” Regina murmured, then devoured her mouth again as her fingers slid inside easy as breathing.

“Fuck,” Emma moaned, breaking the kiss.

“What, you can dish it out but you can’t take it?”

Emma growled and pushed three fingers in, making Regina gasp.

Feeling Emma smirk against her mouth, she pulled out and pushed a third finger in, and then kissed her hard. Immediately they were fucking each other fast and hard, and it hurt in the best way, raw and real and alive. Regina was digging her nails into Emma’s back at the same time that Emma’s fingertips were bruising her shoulder, and they were grunting, sweating, fucking, needing, reaching-

Then they were coming, moments apart.

**

_Cause Ima ride or die  
Whether you fail or fly_

Regina awakened suddenly and was disoriented for a moment. Tensing to turn over, she felt bruises and bites all over—and a warm arm draped around her waist that made her pause. She and Emma had fucked for hours, had orgasm after orgasm, and then she’d fallen asleep in her arms.  That was- it was-

Kind of nice, actually. She could get used to the way this Emma desired. Maybe this was where she’d find her happy ending after all.


End file.
